If you spend enough time on the trail, eventually you begin to run into the same types of people. Here are a few that you're bound to run into on your next trek in the wilderness:
The Ironman
This guy/girl might not look chiseled out of stone, but they sure are in better shape than you.
Often spotted wearing a Patagonia jacket with an Osprey backpack, the Ironman man means business — don't let the man bun fool you. Whether they're running down the trail like ankles grow on trees or purposefully making their route more difficult by jumping between boulders, they always look like they were born for the trail.
If you encounter an Ironman, they will likely be polite as long as you aren't littering, but don't get in they're way. They don't have time to talk. They're setting a personal record. What are you doing with your life?
The Peacock
At first glance, this hiker may look like an Ironman, but don't be fooled by the high end gear; they're just as lost as you are.
The main difference between a Peacock and an Ironman is that while the Ironman will fly past you without a second thought, the Peacock is willing to talk. Really willing to talk.
They'll tell you about every trip they've ever been on (it's more than you), their mileage on those trips (did they drive a car?), their philosophy on thru-hiking (it's the only real way to hike — what's the point if you aren't roughing it?) and of course their new backpack (just ask how much it cost. Please. They're practically begging you to ask).
If you end up getting away from the Peacock, you probably won't see them again. They turned around and went back to the car as soon as you were out of sight.
The Mismatched Couple
Someone is sleeping on the couch tonight.
This phenomenon happens when one partner really loves the outdoors, and the other really loves their partner. They'll probably love them a bit less when this is over.
You can tell the one that's really into it with a few telltale signs:
- they're leading the pack, always
- they're constantly looking over their shoulder to make sure their S.O. is having a good time (spoiler alert: they're not)
- they probably have a walking stick (I don't really have a reason for this one, they just do)
The Hippie
This man/woman is just here to get in touch with their inner self, man. Like, don't take it so seriously.
Whether they hike twenty miles or twenty feet, it doesn't matter. It's all about the journey, man. By the way, do you have any trail mix? I could really go for some trail mix right now.
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